I am only just embarking on the teenage years with my oldest child but as a high school teacher and guidance counselor, I know I am likely in for a wild ride. I’m hoping it’s more kiddie coaster than not, but only time will tell.
In the meantime, I have made mental notes to myself over the past 20+ years in which I have travelled the halls of a high school.
This is what I want my kids to know so that they can cope and thrive during their teenage years.
#1 – Surround yourself with friends who are positive influences. Friends who work hard, are respectful, help others in class who are struggling, and are kind to others, are positive influences.
#2 – Develop your confidence and keep it. Don’t let anyone cause you to like yourself less.
#3 – Make good choices, even in high pressure situations, and even when it’s hard. Say no when you know you should.
#4 – Be resilient and bounce back. Tough things will happen but you are strong and can overcome them.
#5 – Take charge of your own self care. Know what makes you feel healthy and happy, and make time for it.
#6 – Limit social media use. Life is not inside your phone. People are often unkind on social media so don’t link how valued you are to a hunk of glass and plastic.
#7 – Get a part-time job, earn money and save money. You can’t live in my basement for the rest of your life.
#8 – Have a plan for after high school and work towards it. Research opportunities and set goals.
#9 – You are a teenager with a teenage brain and it doesn’t always work very well for certain things. You’ll do dumb things because of it. I did dumb things too.
#10 – When you get your licence, don’t load your friends into my car and drive too fast. If you do, I won’t let you drive my car anymore.
#11 – Reach out. If you feel sad, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or uncomfortable, tell me. If you don’t feel comfortable telling me, that’s OK, just tell an adult you trust.
#12 – Always choose kindness… in class, in the halls and at lunch.
#13 – Have fun. Be social. Laugh with your friends. Enjoy the freedom of being a teenager.
#14 – Oh, and I love you and will be there for you no matter what.
Love, mom.